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I am sitting in the smallest room in the house. I have your letter in front of me. Soon it will be behind me.
Any time you pass by my door I'd sure appreciate it.
You might have been bred in Texas but here you're just another crumb.
You certainly take a long time making your pointless.
Midgets are the last to know when it's raining.
Larry Tucker
It's not nice to make fun of fat people--but what the hell, they can't catch you.
I do not wish to speak ill of a person behind his back, but I believe he's an attorney.
Samuel Johnson
I think it's really cute that you're a feminist.
If your life is really full, nothing you will ever lose will make you very unhappy very long.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Why should I be sensible if it prevents me from being happy?
Augustine Birrell
Why do I always feel so much worse whenever I see things more clearly?
Ashleigh Brilliant
One can live well even in a palace.
Marcus Aurelius
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
The grapes are always sweetest on the slopes of a live volcano.
We tire of the pleasures we take but never of those we give.
People don't change because they see the light. They change because they feel the heat.
Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.
Confucius
In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would take many men many months to equal it.
"I could have done it in a much more complicated way," said the Red Queen, immensely proud.
Lewis Carroll
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
Don't ever confuse motion with progress.
Everyone lives by selling something.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
James Thurber
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Mel Brooks
If you can look into the mirror without laughter, you have no sense of humor.
A sense of humor is the lubricant of life's machinery.
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything - even poverty - you can survive it.
Bill Cosby
A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says...What is this, a joke?
Behind every successful woman...is a basket of dirty laundry.
Sally Poe
Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.
Stephanie Piro
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